Walking the Sea

Walking the Sea: May 2010

Monday, May 24, 2010

Head Out of a Box

I decided to take my head out of a box and my fingers from around the tape dispenser to take a breathe on my blog. My life is surrounded by boxes lately and it will continue to be surrounded by boxes for a while. After 3 1/3 years, I am moving out of my apartment to a one bedroom in another part of town. I want to know what it's like to live on my own without a roommate. I've never had that experience and I think it's high time I did. So tonight I packed my great-grandmother's and grandmother's cookbooks into a box along with tea that has seemed to mate and multiply in the cupboard. I have lost track of how many boxes it's taking to pack up my library, I am probably up to 14 or 15 small to medium sized boxes by now. I don't know how that happens, I think they are mating too.

By the way, if any of you in the area need a octagon shaped table with leaf and four chairs, come on down! I also have a plethora of left-over containers. They are all now "fixed" so they stop growing in number.

I am excited to settle in to where I will be living as strange as that will feel at the same time as grieving leaving here. I have loved this apartment, gotten along extremely well with the managers and I really like my next door neighbors. However, I realize this place, this area of town, has become an ivory tower for me, my place of safety, and it's time to kick myself out of the tower. But this is the first place that has felt like home to me in a very long time. I am hoping the new place will be home too, maybe even more so than this one has since it's all my own.

Lately, life has been so full. Much has fallen to the side of the to-do pile, many things that need to get to get done and aren't done. I am trying to remember to take the time for myself that I need for nourishment and refreshment but between the speaking, working, moving, and a whole host of other projects, I feel like the best I can do right now is put out the fires and occasionally a bit more. Still there is joy in the midst of it all. Yesterday evening I went to see a show in Portland, something I hadn't done for a long time and it felt like me saying, "Oh Sarah, there you are! I've missed you." When I woke up this morning, the dark cloud I have been sleeping under lately was gone. That felt really good. God has also been busy bringing people into my life that needed me at that moment, people who's lives I am humbled to touch. It's nice to know in the midst of it all, God is still shining through me. He likes reminding me through this way that he/she does have purpose in my life. It's nice to see some of that.

I hope to get back to posting here more often, I love writing on this blog. I even have some great pictures to share! But for now, I am headed to bed. I have a full work day tomorrow but it's my favorite subbing job, that will be fun. It's always nice to know what you're doing at work and I can pick this job right up. I hope you are all enjoying May!

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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Free Fall

Free Fall from ProlifikFilms on Vimeo.

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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I Drove...

Today I had a forty-five minute lunch. After warming up the dish I brought, I decided I would rather eat in my car than in that staff room. So I got in my car, turned on the ignition and headed for the freeway. I drove. I just drove. I needed to be away from, well, everything. I needed to shed my skin and simply be a soul. Windows unrolled, wind rushing over my skin and blowing my hair, I headed south, not really knowing where I was going. I figured I would drive until I needed to turn back and I didn't turn around until a viewpoint in the Ankenny Reserve, one of the places I go when I need to breathe. I miss the mountains. Ankenny isn't a mountain but it was the closest I could get to one today. It was the closest place I could get to that reminded me of who I am, an eternal soul loved and created by God. That is what the mountains speak to me. That is what I hear. I am so happy the weather is finally warming up to a point I can return to them and wash myself in their timeless voices.

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Saturday, May 8, 2010

One End or the Other

The last half of this week, my books kept coming up in different conversations. On Wednesday, a friend from the theatre shared with me that his daughter, who has my second book, used one of the poems for a school report. Then on Thursday, I ran into a friend from the seminary at the school she now teaches at and she whispered something to a boy I was working with about me being an author. To top that off, on Friday, I was talking with another substitute teacher who had asked if I was writing a poem. Caught in the act, I admitted to the crime and let him read it. He then shared one of his own which I really liked. This is the one I wrote:

One End or the Other

One end of the stick,
standing high in the
dirt of the earth,
looking to the sun,
sinking in the mud below.
To grab the top, to
hold the heights,
stretching, reaching
beyond yourself,
too much, too high.
The other end,
flat on the ground,
holding the base,
the bottom,
shaking, mud-
filled hands.
No movement,
no rain, no sun,
no leaves turned to the sky,
only the rocks below.
One end or the other,
one impossibly high,
the other with no where to go.
Two ways to be,
to live - or not...
but what if, instead,
the middle?
Walking, holding,
exploring the trail,
using the stick as a guide,
a companion along the way
to steady the feet,
to trust the road ahead,
learning to see
the forest in the trees.

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Where is Sarah?

Hello friends. Were you wondering where I had gone? Life has been very full lately and I am learning the importance of margins because I don't feel like I have them. I know things are really busy and intense right now so I am trying to work through that at the same time as trying to figure what I can cut out so I can once again do those things that refresh me like hiking and quilting. I need those times, those naps in the park and long walks. I miss them.

These are the looming tasks that have pushed me out to the edge of the paper:

-Now that the book is published, the publicity begins. As the Publicity Coordinator, I am helping people connect and getting events going for groups around the world who want to talk about the book. If you are interested in doing one of these, (you might even be able to get me there depending on where it is), let me know! This is the website for the book and you can also buy them from me for $17.50. http://www.quakerbooks.org/

-I am moving! I am not sure where yet, within the Salem/Keizer, Oregon area at least, but I have been working hard on finding a one bedroom apartment somewhere where I can find out what living on my own is really like. I have always had roommates and was thinking of continuing that when I came to realize how nice it would be to have my own place. So I have been hitting the streets, making phone calls, and will start viewing apartments this week before making my selection. I want someplace safe with a little greenery. I think it's high time I had that single adult crappy apartment experience. I will let you all know who live nearby when the moving day is just in case you would like to lend a hand. :o) It would be immensely appreciated. Does anyone have any boxes lying around I could use?

- Now that the big trips are over, my schedule is clear to really look (and find!) a job I can invest in. I would like to find one that at least involves some writing, editing, and hopefully, even some presenting. I want to be able to use my gifts while gaining new skills. Meanwhile, I am still substituting with the schools and enjoying the challenges each day brings.

- I have a tap dancing recital coming up next Sunday at 3. (Tickets are $5.) I am looking forward to the show and at the same time, looking forward to being able to lay tap dancing down for a while. I need some things off my plate, my knees are ready for a break, and the evening class has been moved to 4 pm when I will hopefully be working. I have loved dancing with On Tap for the last 5 years, it has meant a great deal to me and I have grown so much through the lessons learned and the friends made but I am ready for a breather.

As you can probably guess, I have lots of other irons continuously in the fire, little and large, but these are the big ones right now. If you are the praying type, please pray that I create the margins I need to sustain myself and that I have the wisdom and courage to make the decisions that need to be made. Thank you everyone, you are a joy.

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