Stripped to Our Bones

There are times in our lives when we need to shed our skin. There are times when the life we have been writing about has become too heavy and needs to be let go of for a while or released completely. Maybe you’ve had a lot going on, maybe the growth has outpaced the roots, or maybe it’s just time to retreat to somewhere else far away.

This is where I have found myself: ground into the dirt, weary and worn, with a heart that’s been stretched and pained, a spirit parched for God, and a body crying out for rest—time away from everything and everyone involved in my regular life. In short, I needed to leave and go somewhere nourishing to my soul.

Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever been so tired you just needed to put down your life, as much as you love it, pack your bags, and get on a plane? Sometimes that’s what we have to do, especially as writers. Sometimes we need to take a step back from both our lives and what we’ve been writing about. We need to get ourselves and our book manuscripts out of our normal environments and to somewhere else where we can “dry out” for a while and find out what’s left of our souls and our words.

For this retreat of soul, I chose to spend the time with a friend who lives in a small town on the other side of the continent from where I live for an entire week. I’m lucky, I can work from anywhere, so I just packed my laptop, some clothes, good books, and the manuscript for what will, hopefully, be a great book. In addition to having time to rest and visit with people I love, I also wanted to use this time to look with fresh eyes at my manuscript. Away from the places and people who inspired me to write this book, with the exception of the friend I’m visiting, I wanted to see what my words were really made of away from all that. I wanted to take the manuscript apart, undress it, and see the bones underneath. Would it translate? Would it still work, still stand by itself, away from the people who support it? Would I?

On the Saturday morning of my retreat, I took my manuscript and spread it out on the floor of my friend’s living room to edit. Being a believer in positive energy infusing itself from one thing into another, I loved the fact my manuscript was being stripped to its bones in the loving shelter of a house built in 1864, one that has been filled with love, laughter, and togetherness for so long, a house that feels good the moment you walk into it. This is the kind of rooted energy I want in my book and the energy I want to guide me as I put it together. It’s the energy I have been searching for but not finding. I found it here.

Poetry books are nearly always very personal to the author who writes them no matter what way they are later read and this is certainly true of Finding Love’s Way. Taking a deeper look at the words is very much taking a deeper look at myself at the same time. This is also why so much of my heart is in this blog series. My poetry comes from the deepest places in me and I can’t write about it and not talk about my heart at the same time. So sitting there on the floor, I started seeing themes, how the pieces connected, and what I’ve been learning that I was only half aware of at the time. Away from the usual hustle and bustle, for the first time I saw what this book was becoming and what I was becoming along with it.

I sense I needed to find this out in a place where I had the space to reflect, time to dig down new roots and rearrange myself. In the dining room of this house where I’m writing, Abraham Lincoln must have been discussed when he was still alive, a house just northeast of where he grew up. This good man spoke of mercy, integrity, and love. He is one of my heroes and as I work on organizing and editing my own words with the same message in this same land, I think of what he said, “Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new after all.” Maybe what I have to say has been told thousands of times. Maybe what I want to write about from my heart has been written by countless authors before me but I have a deep conviction the world still needs to hear it. They still need to hear love. And perhaps I needed to come to this land of rooted history so when I stripped myself and my book down to our bones, we could both dig down into the ground of love and wisdom in order to find the rest and grace we needed to remember where those bones first came from and why we walk the earth today.

Europe 2011 Video - Part 6

Part 6 of my Europe videos. Seven is almost done as well!

Space on a Train

It seems fitting I pick up this blog again while riding a train. All throughout my time in Europe, train time was my space, my rest, time to think, relax, just be. My best writing comes out of my be space. I loved it. Traveling by train is my favorite form of transportation and such peace is compounded today as I am heading to a weekend retreat with friends after a very full week.

It has actually been a very full summer and my blog was set aside for awhile so I could pay attention to more internal things. A new time is opening up for me, in my career, in my relationships, with God, and deeply within.  Though I don’t know all of what my life is transforming into and what all these changes will be or are even becoming, it has been life-giving to have the space to attend to them.

Change can be hard for us, even good change. For every new thing coming into our lives, there is something we are leaving behind.  Even the things we are glad to see go can have a tinge of grief while we watch them fall away.  And those things we don’t want to let go of but know we need to, there can be great pain in the release.

One thing I am not letting go of, not to mention it would never let go of me, is my writing. The next poetry book, the third in the trilogy, is two-thirds of the way written and my illustrator is starting the set of drawings to accompany the text. Already a beautiful book, it has been a joy to work on and see come together. All the books will be at the Oregon State Fair this year along with my friend, Dolores Dahl’s poetry books at the author’s table in the Americraft building, or as I grew up calling it, the Jaackman-Long building. Dolores will be running the table during the day and I will take charge of it in the evenings. It’s a nice way to have the books at the fair and to keep flexibility in the day time. In honor of the fair, I will be dropping the price of all the poetry books to $10 each and $5 for the devotional. This price is good through September even if you don’t come to the fair.

In the meanwhile, I still have life to figure out as it unfolds before me. I have several ideas for blog posts but have one more book review and a few articles to write, not to mention a quilt to finish, before I write a lot on here.  But I will try to write more often, put some of those ideas to paper. :)

Tramp for the Lord

In the Corrie Ten Boom Museum in the Netherlands, I saw a picture in an upstairs hallway of Corrie standing on a road with a suitcase in hand and a smile on her face, the caption underneath reading, “Corrie, tramp for the Lord”.  Corrie traveled extensively sharing her story of The Hiding Place with the entire world, speaking in an untold number of places, talking about tolerance, compassion, and diversity with whoever would listen.  I loved this picture and felt an immediate affinity for what it represented.  Being a traveling minister myself, I thought this picture was hilariously funny and immediately decided I too, was a tramp for the Lord.

As of today, I have been on the road with my backpack for one month, one-twelfth of the whole year.  By the time I am done with this trip and adding in all the other travel I have done for the book in the last twelve month period, it probably comes close to one-sixth of the year.  I think this definitely gives me “Tramp for the Lord” status.  This pleases me.

In addition to being greatly amused by this new title, it has also given me an opportunity to think about what being a tramp for the Lord means.  Going into this ministry trip, I knew the hardest part would not be all the moving from place to place or carrying the backpack, which I am told is probably at least fifty pounds, but that it would be handling the roles of speaker, guest, representative, and author on a nearly constant basis for almost six weeks straight.  It’s an admittedly, tall order.

When traveling on a journey like this, you aren’t your own person, your time is not yours to use as you wish.  When you are a tramp for the Lord, you lay down some of your own desires, preferences, and even needs.  You give when you think you can’t give anymore.  You engage with people when you would rather disengage and sneak off to be alone.  You put one foot in front of another when you would rather sit down.  It is very much a laying of one’s life on the altar, giving it up, casting your net out on the water, and praying, “Not my will by thine be done.” 

I’m not saying that it’s not fun.  I’m not telling you that there aren’t times when I have more freedom to go do as I choose than at others when I’m on someone else’s schedule or that I haven’t had delightful periods of peaceful rest.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t do it all over again in a heartbeat, that all the things I have seen, explored, and learned are not entirely worth all the planning and the daily challenge of being present.  The rewards are more than worth the price.  In fact, the Sunday before I left, friends at church said with generous sarcasm, “Way to carry the cross Sarah!  Suffering for Christ in Europe!”  And it’s not as if all my needs go unmet.  But you never get as much time to rejuvenate as you would like, as much quiet without someone wanting to talk to you as you need.  You have to learn in the fire when to keep going when you don’t think you can and when to excuse yourself for some rest.  I probably error on the side of staying to talk with people but I know my time here is of limited duration and I need to be open while I can.

One image that has inspired me continually as I go along is that of scattering seeds in the fields I have the honor of passing through.  Hanging against my hip is a “bag of seeds” and everywhere I go, I reach my hand in, grasp a handful, and throw them out among the furrows.  I pray they take root.  I pray they find a place to grow.  I pray God brings along other people to water the seeds I’ve thrown.  But where the seeds land and how they grow I will never know.  My task is to walk through the fields faithfully, to throw the seeds lovingly, not to know what happens to them after I leave.  But there is great pleasure in this, pleasure in knowing I get to throw the seeds and joy in being a planter in hands I adore.  Tramping along the dirt roads beside stone walls, I do what needs to be done to get the seeds out there. I have faith God has reasons for exactly where I go.

So here I am, giving my time, my efforts, my life.  Because that is what we do in the ministry and we are all ministers.  We acknowledge that our lives are not about us.  It’s about the larger story of God redeeming the world and everything in it, seed by seed.  It’s about being a light of his everlasting and steadfast love, of his joy and inner peace.  It’s about grace.  But the great thing is though, that God takes care of his children. The Lord makes sure all our true needs are met while we scatter his seeds.  Though we sacrifice our lives, God does not.  He takes what we give and makes sure we have what we need.  He gives us the space we did not expect to write in our journal, or take a walk by the sea, or a train ride that’s quiet, or makes sure an activity is more life-giving than we thought it would be.  I know I’m in good hands.    I am still a whole person and God respects that more than anyone else.  But if I am not willing to sacrifice for a greater good, what is my faith worth, let alone the service I give?  We all want to leave behind us something larger than ourselves, something lasting longer than our lifetime.  The Bible tells us to die to self so we can live, a verse I think Corrie must have liked and I am proud to walk under the same banner, a tramp for the Lord.

Traveling Minute

This is my traveling minute from Freedom Friends Church for the upcoming trip. Among Quakers/Friends, a traveling minute serves as a way of introduction and authentication for someone in ministry as they travel to places in which they may not be known.  I am grateful to Freedom Friends for writing this one on my behalf.

March 28, 2011


To Friends gathered in Europe and everywhere,

This letter is a traveling minute on behalf of Sarah Katreen Hoggatt. Sarah is a member of Freedom Friends Church in good standing and we support her in her public ministry. She is a beloved member of our community and is a bright, creative, f/Friend who carries concerns for writing about one’s spiritual journey, supporting a diverse array of voices, and living in a loving relationship with God.

Sarah is traveling to Europe as a member of the editorial board for Spirit Rising: Young Quaker Voices, to speak about the book and writing in general at the annual Quakers Uniting in Publications conference in Birmingham, England, the Europe and Middle East Young Adult Friends Annual Spring Gathering in Herzberg, Switzerland, and Friends meetings throughout Europe in April and May of 2011.

We commend Sarah to you, knowing you may trust the testimony she brings you, and entrust that she will encourage and inspire the people with whom she interacts. Please care for her tenderly and encourage her heart. We request you receive this traveling minute on her behalf and document her service among you under this concern. She will hand carry this minute back to us and report on her experiences. Thank you!

Blessings of peace, love, and joy to you all in Christ Jesus,
Ashley Wilcox
Presiding Clerk, Freedom Friends Church

England 2011 - Brilliant!

(Me in front of the London Bridge in 2001)

Dear Friends,

This last fall I was invited by an organization I am a part of called Quakers Uniting in Publications (QUIP) to speak at their annual meeting on writing and to help release Spirit Rising: Young Quaker Voices, the book for which I have served as an editorial board member and contributor for the last three years. Though the book has been released since last May, the Quakers in Britain are holding a UK release and they would like to have me come and promote it as well as speak to Friends around the area.

Though I loved the idea of this opportunity when Gil, one of the co-clerks, first asked me to come, I thought about the conference and prayed over it for several months. I was, in fact, about to let the idea go due to my tight budget here at home but the idea has never let me go and so I decided to try some doors, to see what would open. First, I renewed my passport since it expired last September and started working on saving reward air miles to help with the airfare. I then talked this opportunity of ministry over with trusted mentors who gave me resounding encouragement and urged me to go to England.

Now things are falling into place. I am discussing with the Quakers in both Britain and the Netherlands where else they could use me while I’m there and the doors are opening one after another, in Lancaster, Brighton, Cambridge, around London, and in The Hague, Netherlands. I am really excited about these opportunities to minister with and spend time with the European Quakers. They are a group with a different flavor than both the Kenyan and US Quakers I have already had the gift of traveling amongst.

When our editorial board worked on Spirit Rising, dreaming of what it could be and do, we hoped the words would not only inspire a person to know God better and to more deeply understand and appreciate the diversity within Quakerism and humanity in general, but that the words would also inspire people of all theologies to discuss with each other the beliefs dear to them and form the difficult yet profound relationships we began between the ten of us editorial board members. We wanted what was birthed among us to grow in the book and come to fruition in the lives of those who read and discuss it. We wanted to see our work continued around the world, that the book would go back to the countries the words came from and spill out from there. This opportunity to go speak in Britain and the Netherlands is a part of that work. We need people in this world who will stand up and say they have done it; they have delved into the painful conversations with people different from themselves and to be honest about how they have been changed by those experiences. If we are to have greater cooperation among our various countries and theologies in this world, we need to hear the voices of those who are willing to say yes, it is hard, but yes, it is worth it. I want to be one of those people. As imperfect me, I want to stand up and help be that bridge crossing those divides and whatever country that ministry is in, whatever culture an audience comes from, that is where I want to be. This is the work I am called to.

In addition to the speaking and intervisition, I am also going to England and Netherlands on writing assignments from Friends Journal and Western Friend. I will be writing articles about experiences such as being an evangelical traveling amongst unprogrammed Friends and another on the QUIP conference. And of course, I will be blogging while I’m there.

Though different Quaker organizations are helping me fund the trip, I still have a ways to go. All told, the trip will cost around $2,200.00 between airfare, transportation, room and board, conference fees, and other miscellaneous expenses such as traveling health insurance, though this amount may grow a bit depending on the travel and time required for the additional speaking ministry. Though this amount takes into account the discount on airfare from my reward air miles and my being hosted by local Friends, this cost is still beyond my budget. I am fundraising through donations and what I can set aside out of my own income though I am trying to squirrel away whatever I can now as I will be missing a great deal of work to do this ministry. I would greatly appreciate any help you could give whether that is financial or holding me in prayer as I undertake this work. You can make out any checks directly to me. Specific prayer needs include guidance as we plan who I will be speaking to in addition to my work at the conference, smooth travel, safety, good health, and most importantly, that the words I bring to these groups are blessed and used by God.

As I said, I will be posting here to my blog as I travel, www.WalkingtheSea.blogspot.com. I invite you to check in with me to see how the trip is going, both in the planning and execution. I will leave sometime in late April and return in early May. Thank you for your consideration in helping me minister in Britain and The Netherlands.

Please contact me with any further questions. I hope you are doing well in the New Year.


Sincerely,
Sarah Katreen Hoggatt