The Question of Illustrations Rethought

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As I’ve been working on writing the last 10% of the book, I’ve also given a lot of thought to the illustrations. Though in an earlier post I shared I would be creating a few drawings of my own for the start of the sections, I have gone back and forth whether to use a graphic of a labyrinth or my own art. Publishing a book is not a straightforward affair and decisions are often remade, choices changed.

When I originally decided to include my own illustrations, it was before I took my winter drawing and painting classes. Since then, I’ve fallen in love once again with the art form and joyfully look forward to each class session. A friend tells me my whole face lights up whenever I talk about them. I am truly, deeply happy with a pencil or paintbrush in hand.

You would think since I love creating drawings and paintings, I would be eager to include them in my new poetry book but I am not. I’ve realized over the last few months my art is the one thing I do purely for fun. All my other hobbies have also turned into work. I help lead our dragon boat team and am on the board for another. I teach the aerial silk tricks classes and my photography has been published in a variety of magazines and journals. I still love these activities but there is now a professional leadership component to them. It’s often not as much fun when you have to do something you used to do for the pure delight of it. And so I’ve come to the decision to not include my artwork in my upcoming book so I can still enjoy creating it. It’s a way to keep my joy just that: a joy.

Instead of my own art, I’m going to include a graphic of a labyrinth at the start of each section which will go better with the theme anyway. Then I can continue creating art with no pressure and no expectation. Just because we can do something doesn’t always mean we should. Sometimes, there are more important long-term benefits and drawbacks to take into account. This is a decision I have peace about.

Creating a Clean Manuscript

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For weeks, I’ve been working with a manuscript made up of my editors’ original papers all marked up with four different people’s edits. Having already entered all the changes in to the computer, what I had in front of me no longer reflected what the actual poems were. I needed to print out a clean manuscript.

When we’re in the midst of working on a book, at times we need to stop and take stock of where we’re at. How is it shaping up? What else needs to be written? Now that you can see the words without all the pen marks, is there more editing?

With one hundred and fourteen poems printed out, I went by a print shop and bought neon orange and lime green sheets of paper to stand in for section breaks and holes still needing to be filled. It was a relief to take out all the old manuscript sheets, which I’ll be keeping in case I need to refer to them later, and replace them with poems on clean white paper not marked up (yet).

With this manuscript in hand, I have a better idea of where I’m at and what else still needs to be done. Though not all authors need a visual representation of what still needs to be done, I like having something in my hands to look at. It is, probably, the last time I’ll print out the poems in this way. After writing the last sixteen poems, I’ll review the manuscript again and then start designing the book on the computer. It’s hard not to start the page layout now, but once a poetry book is designed, any changes have to be made twice: to the design file and the original Word document. If the poetry is nearly in its final form before I start laying it out as a book, the work will be much easier in the end.

It’s fun to see the book coming along in this way. Even when life gets busy and I don’t have a lot of time to give to it, I find encouragement taking little steps so I at least know I’m getting somewhere. Creating a clean manuscript was a huge step in this process as I look forward to getting the book into final form.

Three Writing Rules

When I started talking to my editors about this book, I gave them special permission to ask any question they wanted, inquire about the back story of any poem. They have only taken advantage of this once and when they did, it was to ask if a poem was about romantic love. I assured them it was not and then I explained to them my three self-imposed rules limiting what I write.

• I never write about romantic love. This is usually not something I have to state outright but now that I have a book with the word “love” in the title, I’m going to have to include this fact in the introduction so people know to look beyond that particular expression of bonding. Besides the fact the whole point of this book is to open up a wider view of what love is, I also don’t share something that can be so fleeting in so public of a forum.

• I never mention names in poetry and rarely in a story. Even when I have someone particular in mind when writing a poem, I never mention their name. This is partly to protect them, partly to protect myself, and partly to let the reader interpret the words into their own life and story without being encumbered with my details. If I’m writing about my life in an article or as part of a talk, I will refer to a person via our relationship such as friend, mentor, or sister. If I use their name, it’s always just their first name with no personal details that is only their right to tell. Being in a personal relationship with a writer is hard enough without worrying about what they’re going to say about you.

• I rarely share the stories behind the poems. One of the great things about poetry is people read their own lives into the poems and don’t often wonder at mine. Still, I rarely share my own experience behind them as I want my words to stand on their own merits. This rule also lets me write with greater honesty and openness knowing I can keep details to myself. Though my editors have permission to ask any questions they want, for the most part, I choose not to talk about the stories and leave people free to see themselves in what they read.

These three rules have helped immensely as I’ve written my books. They give me boundaries and help protect those I love.

What guidelines have you created for your writing?

Warning Labels for Writers - Publishing a Book Series

I joke that I ought to come with two warning labels worn as buttons on my clothing so everyone around me is prepared for what may come.

“Anything you do or say may and can be used in my next book.”

Much of my poetry is inspired by what I experience in life whether it’s watching a man dancing with wild abandon or the words said by a friend as she hugs me. I take those moments that stay with me, haunting my deeper awareness, and turn them around in my head by writing them down. If the poems are good enough, I then share them in a book or magazine. Though most readers will never recognize where the words come from, some who know my heart well will recognize themselves and the words I’ve shared with them in the lines. The experiences of my life are what I draw on to share larger truths and I often include those I love in my words as it’s another way to treasure their presence in my life.

“I reserve the right to see in you the face of God.”

Sometimes when I’m looking at people, I see God in their faces. It’s such a beautiful sight and once in a while, what I see inspires what I write. One night I watched a woman at a concert clapping and dancing in her seat. I imagined it was God singing along and taking joy in the ones onstage. Another night I watched my art teacher work her way around the room encouraging and praising every student for their work. I take these moments of visibly seeing the qualities of God and include them in whatever I’m writing whether it’s an article or poem to illustrate my point or to give readers an image of God they not have thought of yet. It’s a joy to be always looking deeper into those around me to find God.

As I work on writing these last sixteen or so poems for the book, you can bet I’m keeping my eyes and ears open for experiences I can use whether or not the people around me know about the invisible warnings. You never know what I’m going to come up with next.

What other invisible warnings do you think writers should come with?

Managing Multiple Editors - Publishing a Book Series

 

For several weeks, my editors have been across the board concerning how much of the book they’ve worked on. One editor has been through two out of three poetry batches and my other editors have only gone through the first. In between trips and holidays, I’ve been working on catching everyone up to the same point. Last week, I stayed with one of my editors so we could go over the third batch. In a few days, I’ll meet with my other two editors after they’ve arrived at the same point. I’m looking forward to hearing what they think of the new material and discussing some changes to writing they’ve already seen. I also want to start discussing the order of the book with them.

It’s been somewhat stressful having people at different places and keeping track of who has seen what but I would rather have this be a fun experience for my editors with no pressure to be done by a certain time. This is not always a grace I can confer but with no strict timeline to follow, I’m giving us all space. Two of my editors, especially, have enjoyed spacing the poems out, reflecting on one each day.

The point I want to get to is having a clean manuscript to set aside for a while. Once I’ve talked with everybody and made corrections to the master files, then backed them up, of course, I’ll print out all the poems, place them in the order I want them, and then store the manuscript away for a time so I can focus on writing the rest of the book.

When I’ve been at this point in the process before with the other books, I‘ve juggled two hats: one as a writer and one as a publisher. It’s a dichotomy I’m well used to as this is my fifth book but a benefit of taking my time with Finding Love’s Way is I can concentrate on one hat at a time whereas I usually have to juggle both in nearly equal measure. I deeply believe this book will be better for it. A beautiful place to be, I anticipate marking off the majority of the book as having been completely approved for publication and then having everyone on the same page once again.

 

Taking My Time - Publishing a Book Series

Last summer, I made a decision to not pin down a book publishing date for Finding Love’s Way. With all my other books I’ve had firm deadlines but with this one, I’m giving myself the grace to let the book take its own course for however long it needs. As authors, we have a tendency to rush things along, to curtail the process because we’re tired of slogging through the manuscript and want to be done or we’re so excited to see it published, we don’t take the time to refine the sharp edges. Only later do we find the errors, the improvements we could have made if we’d simply taken the time. Such a book is often badly written and hard to read. No time was taken to refine the work and remove the excess verbiage. I don’t want to let that happen with this book and the difference I’ve experienced in choosing to not have a definitive timeline has been, for me, refreshing. There’s no pressure; I can let the book become whatever it desires and give myself the time to make any corrections before it goes to print.

As this book is so personal, so much about growing into the deeper meaning of love, by giving it space, I’ve also given myself space to develop and learn. At different times, I’ve let the manuscript collect dust so I can come back to it with new eyes when I’m not so attached to what I’ve already written. By tweaking the words after a time of rest, I better understand what each section needs, where I want to go with each poem, and I can change phrases to form a more cohesive whole making one poem blend into the next. Truths I learn in the latter half of the writing stage can be worked into the first.

The other tendency authors have is to let a manuscript sit so long that it’s never published. Or we might have a hard time letting the manuscript go—we keep going over it with a fine-tooth comb. Though I am all for the editing process and making sure a book is ready to be published, there has to come a time when we come to the end and release it. There has to be a point when we call it good and put down the red pen.

How do we know the difference between when a book is done and when it needs more work? How do we know when to keep going and when to stop? For myself, I listen to that voice deep inside that just knows. My intuition has served me well. My editors, too, help a great deal. They’re good at letting me know when something still isn’t working or when it’s ready to go. I trust their advice even as I make the final decisions.

At this point in the process, I know I’m far from being finished with the writing. There are still holes throughout the book: three larger holes and thirteen small ones. The poems are like seeds in a garden that haven’t sprouted yet. They need time to grow, time to send down roots and mature. I don’t want to give in to the temptation to hurry them along just to have a “completed” manuscript. The point I want to get across would be scraggly, weak, and unfulfilling. After putting so much effort into all the other poems, I want to give these poetry holes the same treatment. There are things I’m learning and thinking about every day, pieces I’m being given I know I want to include, new understandings to build in. When they are ready, the poems will be there tumbling out of my mouth onto the paper. They will be what they were meant to be because I waited, because I let them grow until there were ready. Only by choosing to not have a publish-by-date has this been possible.

Sometimes we have to have a due date. There is no way to get around it, an article or book has to be ready by a certain time. In this case, don’t put things off until the last moment. Use the entire time you’re given. Give it thought and listen to your editors. I am sure there will be books down the road with a tighter deadline but since I have a choice with this one, I’m taking all the time it needs. When I have at last finished writing and editing the material, I know it will have been done right and done well. 

I’m excited to see what a book looks like that’s had time to really come together in the way it should. I’m excited to see what truths come out that wouldn’t have been otherwise thought of. What will I learn through this process of not rushing myself or anyone else helping me with the book? We move forward, certainly, but the pace is steady with time to enjoy the journey.

Finding the Holes - Publishing a Book Series

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In the post, “Bringingit Together,” I talked about the process of putting the book into order. Last week, I opened the manuscript and took a second look at how one poem flowed into another. Laid out on my living room floor, I went through the whole manuscript, line by line, and on a pad of paper, wrote out what part each poem plays in the larger storyline. Going through the book like this gave me a chance to appreciate and refine the curves and turns along the way.

At times I was amazed at how the placement of a poem influenced its meaning and gave it greater depth. At others, I found holes where the storyline left off and where the book needs new material to fill the gaps. This is actually a relief to me for I know I’m not done writing what I have percolating inside quite yet. I know there’s more.

Because of this process, I have a far better grasp of where I am on the timeline of having the manuscript completed. I can see the larger picture and can thus focus my writing efforts on what the book really needs instead of a more scattered approach just to get to a total number of poems in the table of contents. Each piece now comes under closer scrutiny. Does it work? Is something not here that should be? Is this message repeated elsewhere? It will be a fun challenge to answer these questions as I work on writing poems for the open spaces using whatever inspiration comes my way. 

What Was I Thinking? - Publishing a Book Series

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I often write when I’m grieving, upset, or have a strong emotion. It’s a way for me to process the emotions and get them out. This wouldn’t be a problem for me except for the fact I then publish such feelings in a very public forum. Whenever I get close to releasing a new book, I can be found, head buried in my hands, wailing aloud, “What was I thinking?” I’ll even go back to my editors and ask if we should take a poem out as it’s just too personal but they inevitably respond, “You can’t take that out. It’s so powerful!” This is partly why I have editors – to keep me away from the trash can. I also know the most vulnerable poems, the ones where I don’t hold anything back, are usually the ones people tell me mean the most to them. And so I publish and let my heart’s lament live out there for all to see.

This is not an easy place to be on a continual basis – it brings new meaning to the phrase “wearing your heart on your sleeve” but, in general, I don’t think we’re open enough with each other about our inner thoughts and feelings. Aside from the seeming intimacy of the internet, when in life do we really express those deepest places within us face-to-face? It’s good to have a handful of people in our lives we know we can go to for a good talk but what about when we write? It can be hard to express such things on paper and have no control over who reads them.

“How do you share such personal thoughts so publicly?” is a question I’ve been asked and that I still struggle with. Now that I have an idea of what this book will be, I’m right there asking once again, “What was I thinking?” I then have to remind myself of a couple things. Perhaps what I tell myself will help you the next time you go to write such words.

• You are not what you write. Writers can be artists and as artists, we equate ourselves closely with what we create. However, what we create is not us. My words do not define me any more than what I wear. Whenever I write or sell a book, I remember that I am not what I put down on paper. My soul is always my own. Once a creation is produced or a book published, it takes on a life of its own and it’s out of my hands. If you want to get to know me, I would love to meet up with you and talk over coffee. But don’t think because you’ve read one of my books or friended me on Facebook that you know who I am. That takes time and friendship.

• Don’t be ashamed of those thoughts and feelings you’ve expressed. The thoughts and feelings you’ve expressed are beautiful and genuine. So much of yourself has gone into your writing that it is valuable no matter what you’ve said. Do no harm, but be honest and vulnerable. If we as writers aren’t willing to be open with such thoughts and to then share them, who is going to be?

• What you write will help other people. Everyone has these deeper thoughts and feelings but many times we need someone else to express them first before we’re willing to hear our own. Our words travel far more widely and to more unexpected places than we could possibly go ourselves. You have no idea who you’re reaching and in what ways all because you were willing to be open with yourself. Anything written in love never goes to waste but is planted and grown in the lives of those who turn the pages. This always happens. You may not always see it.

• When people read your words, they don’t see the full story behind them, they see their own. Much of my poetry and writing in general lies at the intersection of my life and deeper truth. However, what I've discovered over the years is when people read my words, they don’t see my story, they see their own. I may have written my heart out about a relationship or an experience but they read it and see their own relationships, their own experiences. You can, metaphorically speaking, stand center-stage under the spotlights and tell of those things you would never otherwise say aloud but what they hear is their own life. I would bet, even when I’m writing about my relationship with a specific person, that person can read it and not even recognize themselves. (I never use names.) It works that well. This is why I balk at how poetry is taught in schools. We don’t really know what the author was thinking but we teach that kind of analysis to students. Just yesterday, someone read a poem going into Finding Love’s Way and told me what I had done within it. I didn't say anything but in my mind, I was thinking, “Wow! I did all that? I didn't even mean to!” But he read himself into the words. People do it every time. Write whatever you want.

Sometimes it’s our strongest emotions, the darker ones we don’t easily express that can be filled with the most light. Sometimes it’s in the depths where we find the treasure and remember, as you write, this treasure is not just for you. We are all so connected, it is a gift for us all. So please, write. Write honestly and openly, share your thoughts and feelings. I want to learn from them. I want to be able to say, “Me too!” and “I never saw it that way.” I want to be challenged, to hear what I haven’t had the courage to say myself and maybe what I've written will do the same for you. Keep writing.

For more on clearing the clutter within before taking pen to paper read, “Clearing the Clutter: Journaling for Writers.”

(This is the 14th post in my "Publishing a Book Series." To see the others, click here.)

Printing Choices - Publishing a Book Series

This story starts a few years back at a women’s conference out on the coast. I had been looking over the contents of the book table when I saw a book called Soul Custody by Stephen W. Smith. The title intrigued me but when I picked it up, I had a hard time putting the book down. The book itself was great and I later bought it, but it was the feel of the cover that enthralled me. It was soft and velvety, a pleasure to just hold. Someday, I wanted a book of mine to feel like that.

Unfortunately, the next book I was publishing was the last of a trilogy and I needed to stay with the mold I’d already created with the first two: 6x9, glossy covers, illustrations, running headers, and white pages. But this book stands on its own. This book is complete in and of itself. I can throw everything out the window and recreate a whole new look.

To do this, I wanted to talk to the printer in person. I wanted to look at examples of previous books printed, to see for myself what they meant by “matte” covers.  So this last weekend on my drive up to celebrate Christmas early with my family, I stopped by my favorite print shop, Gorham Printing, in Centralia, Washington. As I’ve already shared, we have a great working relationship and I trust their quality. I really wanted to use them for this next book if possible.

Explaining to the staff what I wanted, I was shown some matte cover books they’ve recently printed. It was exactly what I had been hoping for. That soft, velvety feel, the kind of cover you want to keep running your hand across, that’s what I wanted for my book. Writing about love, I wanted the physical book itself to be as warm as the people who inspired me to write it. I couldn’t have been happier.

I also took a look at books on their shelves printed with cream colored paper. This is a decision I have been wrestling with: white or cream paper? I loved the idea of the warmth of cream and that it was different and would match the softer feel of the cover, but it could prove difficult for drawings. Looking at their books, though, cream is going to win the day. If I stick to pencil illustrations, I think it will look lovely. I want this book to be my best work yet, both in aesthetics and in the writing. Cream paper is what I’ve envisioned for so long, it just belongs to the book now.

I hadn’t yet decided on the size of the book. When I was putting the poems into their rough order, I noted many of them were shorter than I’ve usually written in the past and that means I won’t need as much physical space. I joked to my friend that I must be a better writer if I can write less. Making the book a 5 ½ by 8 ½ would also have the added benefit of being a bit cheaper than a 6 by 9, thus offsetting the cost of the more expensive paper.

This time there will be no running headers, just a page number centered on the bottom of the page with a simple swirl or some such symbol above. As I wrote in my last post, the poems will also stand on their own – no drawings on the same page, just at the start of the sections. Less is more is my new mantra.

The staff at Gorham sent me home with a printed matte cover from one of their current projects. I keep running my fingers across its surface as I imagine what it will be like to pick up my own book with such a cover for the very first time. I’m loving being able to match the physical printing choices to what the book is about. I also find it deeply inspiring as I continue writing, editing, and putting the poems in order.  It’s a book I can now see in my mind as well as in my heart.

Important Advice for Writers: Back Up! - Publishing a Book Series

Flying back home from my retreat, I’m carrying a black shoulder bag with my laptop and book manuscript. Thinking of that bag sitting in the plane compartment above my head, I realize if something happens to it, much of the upcoming book would be lost. I have an old version of the poetry folder stored in Dropbox but only some of the poems are there. None of the edits have been backed up and certainly not the order of the book I spent an entire evening working out.

I feel like I’m carrying something precious with me. I’ve been entrusted with this book and it’s up to me to not only get it home safely, but to back it up when I get there. I need to make sure it can’t be completely lost if there is a fire or theft. I need to make sure this work is saved somewhere so no one but me can get to it.

Take a moment and ask yourself: are you backing up your writing? Are you saving it somewhere besides your computer? If something happened to your laptop, what else would you lose? After two years of working on this book, this is a sobering thought for me. When I get home, I will be saving my files to Dropbox so everything is saved in the cloud. You can also bet after my next meeting with my editors, that I’ll be reprinting all the poems and putting them in their order so I have two copies of it until I lay out the book in Indesign. Until then, I’ll be keeping close tabs on that printed manuscript above my head.

Back up and back up often!

The Question of Illustrations - Publishing a Book Series

When it came to the poetry trilogy, each book had an illustrator. One was a friend and two I found while searching for someone to hire. I loved working with such talented artists and they added so much to the books but since this book stands on its own, I called everything into question including the illustrations. As I saw it, there were a few ways I could go with benefits and drawbacks to each option:

•  Hire an illustrator and have them draw pictures to go with my words. (What I did for the first three.) The benefit to this is the artistry that such illustrations add. The drawback is the cost and the additional time and effort communicating back and forth with an illustrator entails.
• Use my own photography throughout the book. The benefit is I get to share one of my favorite hobbies along with my writing. Using my own work is also free and I have full rights to it. The drawback is trying to match photographs with poems. Having an illustrator draw whatever was needed was easier.
• Use the photography of one of my friends. I have several friends who are brilliant artists with a camera and I’m sure I could negotiate the cost and rights to use their pictures. This would involve someone else in the project, though, and would take quite a bit of time.
• Use my own drawings. This is the riskiest option as I’ve only taken a community drawing class and am planning to repeat it. While I love drawing, I’m nowhere near the level of a professional artist though the drawings could be fun to create and share. I also would have full rights to them at no cost.
• Let the words stand by themselves with no illustrations. Most poetry books use this option. It’s free, no hassle, and the words speak for themselves. However, it can lack that visual artistic touch.

In addition to the benefits and drawbacks of the various options, there are also other factors to take into account. I’ve been thinking of using cream colored paper for this book. If I do, that might not work for photographic light and colors. I also have a drawing from the class I took which I would love to use in the next book because it illustrates one of the poems.

With these considerations in mind, I talked it over with a friend I was visiting and she suggested I let the words stand on their own with no illustrations. She liked it when readers could take the words anywhere with no limitations whatsoever. However, being another budding artist herself, she also suggested I draw images just for the beginning of the sections. If I stuck with pencil as my medium, it would keep that softer look I’m going for. I really like this idea. It only involves five drawings if I keep to five sections, one of which is done, and it lets me share a newfound love.

If this choice goes well, drawing the five pictures myself will be a huge joke on me. When I started taking my drawing classes, people asked if I was going to start illustrating my own books and I insisted I was not. The class was just for fun. Just for me. Apparently there were other plans afoot. Even before making this decision, I was planning on retaking the class because I loved it so much. It’s one of the things I’m most looking forward to right now. I’m hoping my teacher (same one as I had before) will be willing to help me with the drawings and give me tips on improving them. I think it will be a fun process. It also speaks to the question I had last year: “How can I illustrate spiritual truths in a drawing?” Drawing the next four for this book will be my answer.

Bringing it Together - Publishing a Book Series

I’d been looking forward to the project all afternoon. Once my work was finished for the day, I closed my laptop and pulled out my manuscript. Splayed out on the living room floor, I was delighted to finally have the time and mental space to take all the poems and put them in order. In short, I wanted to see what this book looked like as a whole.

Up to this point, the book has been a collection of individual poems. Though I knew the point I wanted to drive home in the end, I had little sense of the story arc as a whole. I didn’t know the beginning or the middle or how one section would progress into another. The poems were not written with any kind of order in mind and it would have to be created based upon what I’d already written. The experience of putting a poetry book together is rather like being handed a box of colored tiles and being told to make a coherent picture. I can still add and subtract away from the book to strengthen the flow, but with 106 poems ready to go in, it was time to put them all in the hopper and see what came out.

Taking what I learned from my first editor when it comes to putting a book together, I took a sheet of paper and drew out a story curve with notes describing what parts of the story I was looking for along the way. I then split the diagram into five sections: the beginning, going up the curve, the middle, going down the curve, and the end.

Taking the stack of poems in hand one by one, I then divided them into the five parts of the story based on what the poems were about and the lessons I learned within them. Sometimes I wasn’t sure where they fit so I set those aside to use later. If I had two possibilities for different parts of the story, I made that note on the bottom of the page.

I then took a section at a time and found the links between the poems to put them in order. Sometimes I felt inspired as I found larger stories between the poems, themes and questions that came up at the beginning fulfilled in the end. A great deal of the time, though, I struggled through, trying to find how they fit together and coming up short. It was gratifying and frustrating at the same time. The first section, especially, came together easily but the later ones were much harder. One section I reshuffled entirely and did over.

What I did find as I worked through the sections was the conversation between God and I that ran throughout the book. I also discovered some of the poems were even better when placed alongside another than they were by themselves. They brought out deeper truths in each other. Seeing the words come together as a cohesive whole, I feel like I now have the ultrasound for my baby. It’s no longer an abstract concept, but an identifiable thing. I’ve seen the picture and it’s beautiful. Even though the order of the poems is very much a rough draft and I still have some more to write, I love seeing it come together into a book.

What is This Book About?

When I started writing this book, Finding Love’s Way,  I did it without knowing where I was going. I wrote about whatever caught my attention or the words and thoughts I needed to get out. I let myself go without concerning myself about where it would end up. It’s much like starting a journey without planning where you’ll go but taking one step at a time. Some may call this poor planning and they may be right. But my poetry is, first and foremost, an expression of me and my relationship with God. It’s honest and open and real. If I planned the larger story out, I believe it would come across as faked and unsubstantial. So I let it go knowing I would look back later to find the way I went.
 
I’m now at a stage where I’m doing this - looking back and finding the over-arching story. Having the title has helped immensely with this process. It’s given me a point to the journey and now I can go back and retrace my steps in order to find out how I got here. What have I struggled with? What did I learn through those experiences? What have been my joys along the way? Where is the path through the hills I created with the tread of my feet?
 
I have the pieces I need and what I find to be missing I’ll be able to fill in. It’s like one giant puzzle with each poem being a piece of the larger picture. What is that picture? How does the journey lead to the point of it all?
 


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Perhaps the poems are more like a labyrinth with all it’s twists and turns. A labyrinth is a single circuitous path that winds around back and forth in the larger shape of a circle until it reaches the center and then back out again. Learning to love unconditionally is much the same – it’s never a straight path – it’s filled with some of the same lessons over and over again each a little different yet so much the same. There are joys like candles as we walk as God lights our way. Just as God is in all of the labyrinth and not just in the center, so God is in all our experiences of love no matter what labels we put upon them. Love is far, far more than the “good feelings” we usually equate it with. Love is a bond, it connects us. We’re all living in it, walking the journey on the same road but going all different directions. Love is making way for another person, love is honoring their journey even if they seem to be going a different direction than us most of the time. Love is the most real thing there is.

This is what I want the book to stand for. It's what I want the book to proclaim. This is what I want my life to proclaim. If I can communicate some of that reality of love through the written word and make even one person more aware of it, more aware of the joy and importance of love, it will have been worth it. It will have all been worth it.

Stripped to Our Bones

There are times in our lives when we need to shed our skin. There are times when the life we have been writing about has become too heavy and needs to be let go of for a while or released completely. Maybe you’ve had a lot going on, maybe the growth has outpaced the roots, or maybe it’s just time to retreat to somewhere else far away.

This is where I have found myself: ground into the dirt, weary and worn, with a heart that’s been stretched and pained, a spirit parched for God, and a body crying out for rest—time away from everything and everyone involved in my regular life. In short, I needed to leave and go somewhere nourishing to my soul.

Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever been so tired you just needed to put down your life, as much as you love it, pack your bags, and get on a plane? Sometimes that’s what we have to do, especially as writers. Sometimes we need to take a step back from both our lives and what we’ve been writing about. We need to get ourselves and our book manuscripts out of our normal environments and to somewhere else where we can “dry out” for a while and find out what’s left of our souls and our words.

For this retreat of soul, I chose to spend the time with a friend who lives in a small town on the other side of the continent from where I live for an entire week. I’m lucky, I can work from anywhere, so I just packed my laptop, some clothes, good books, and the manuscript for what will, hopefully, be a great book. In addition to having time to rest and visit with people I love, I also wanted to use this time to look with fresh eyes at my manuscript. Away from the places and people who inspired me to write this book, with the exception of the friend I’m visiting, I wanted to see what my words were really made of away from all that. I wanted to take the manuscript apart, undress it, and see the bones underneath. Would it translate? Would it still work, still stand by itself, away from the people who support it? Would I?

On the Saturday morning of my retreat, I took my manuscript and spread it out on the floor of my friend’s living room to edit. Being a believer in positive energy infusing itself from one thing into another, I loved the fact my manuscript was being stripped to its bones in the loving shelter of a house built in 1864, one that has been filled with love, laughter, and togetherness for so long, a house that feels good the moment you walk into it. This is the kind of rooted energy I want in my book and the energy I want to guide me as I put it together. It’s the energy I have been searching for but not finding. I found it here.

Poetry books are nearly always very personal to the author who writes them no matter what way they are later read and this is certainly true of Finding Love’s Way. Taking a deeper look at the words is very much taking a deeper look at myself at the same time. This is also why so much of my heart is in this blog series. My poetry comes from the deepest places in me and I can’t write about it and not talk about my heart at the same time. So sitting there on the floor, I started seeing themes, how the pieces connected, and what I’ve been learning that I was only half aware of at the time. Away from the usual hustle and bustle, for the first time I saw what this book was becoming and what I was becoming along with it.

I sense I needed to find this out in a place where I had the space to reflect, time to dig down new roots and rearrange myself. In the dining room of this house where I’m writing, Abraham Lincoln must have been discussed when he was still alive, a house just northeast of where he grew up. This good man spoke of mercy, integrity, and love. He is one of my heroes and as I work on organizing and editing my own words with the same message in this same land, I think of what he said, “Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new after all.” Maybe what I have to say has been told thousands of times. Maybe what I want to write about from my heart has been written by countless authors before me but I have a deep conviction the world still needs to hear it. They still need to hear love. And perhaps I needed to come to this land of rooted history so when I stripped myself and my book down to our bones, we could both dig down into the ground of love and wisdom in order to find the rest and grace we needed to remember where those bones first came from and why we walk the earth today.

Searching for the Title

(This is the seventh article in a series recounting my experiences in publishing my next book. You can find the rest under the "Publishing a Book Series" tag.)

Just about all my book titles have two things in common: there was another “working title” before it and I came up with the final title while in my bed. So often they come to me in the night and even now, I’m not sure why. Perhaps it’s the lack of outer stimulation when my mind is finally quiet enough that the right words have the space to come into my conscious awareness. Whatever it is, it’s developed into a rather mystical habit.

This book has been without a title of any kind thus far. Two or three months ago, there was a title I’d thought of (not in my bed) that I bounced off my editors and a close friend. None of them liked it. Frankly, I was disappointed as I thought it was a good title but I decided to listen to the people I trust and wait for the right title to come along. Then, last night as I was praying beside my bed and talking to God about what I had been learning at a workshop this weekend, the title appeared in my head. There is no other way to explain it – it was just suddenly there and it clicked: Finding Love’s Way. The words encapsulate so much of what I’ve been learning while writing this book and it’s a title I feel I can flesh out with the words inside. The book and title seem to belong together.

When considering a title, I always go on Amazon first and search for it so I know what kinds of books have the same or a similar title. Not a lot came up relating to Finding Love’s Way and certainly no direct matches. I also Googled the title and the only match was an event in California advertised on Facebook that took place last week. I took this as a great sign.

My next step was to ask my editors what they thought and this is what I received back: “I really like that title!” and “Love it! Beautiful wording!” I’ll be asking my close friend about it, too, when I get a chance.

Finding Love’s Way has been, and continues to be, an incredible journey of discovery and growth. Through all the angst and joy in every line of every poem I’m learning what it means to love with no limits and no expectations. It’s a book with a message, even more so than the first three were. It’s a book full of questions and the answer doesn’t come until the end where everything is thrown up into the air and the one truth remains: to learn to love yourself and God unconditionally and to then love others unconditionally: this is the truest, most real, and the greatest beauty ever known.

There is a deep part of me now at peace. With this title. I not only have a book, but I have a purpose as well. I’d had the sense while writing the book that the theme, the story, would become apparent as it came together and I’d find it at some point, hopefully, before publication. And now that I have, I can go back to all I’ve written and refine it, polish it up with its part of the story in mind. I feel like the book has just burst open and a whole new level of enthusiasm has ignited my writer’s and publisher’s heart. I’m now excited to write the last parts and to bring it all together.

One of the things I’ve learned through this process is I oughtn’t be afraid to wait for the right title to come along. Like naming a child, the title is going to be around for a very long time so I want to make sure it suits the material well.  However, even now, I don’t know if this is the final title. This could, in the end, turn out to be the working title. I may yet come up with an even better title as the book comes together and I get to know the overarching story. Time will tell.

It will be exciting to see how things come together in the coming months!

Where's the Focus? - Publishing a Book Series

For this book thus far, I’ve been writing whatever comes to mind, whatever message has to get out at the time. I know the book is about love and there are a lot of water references in it (a theme my editors pointed out to me) but it was all mixed together with no conclusion. The words weren’t going anywhere. Something was still missing.

 

It was at this point I met with a friend, not about the book but to just talk about life and God – not that the two can, in truth, be separated.  Before we left, she told me this: “If you’re upset, lower your expectations.” At first I laughed because it sounds so funny and also because I had recently reread a favorite book of mine, The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, who says the same exact thing, albeit in different words. The idea is to know there is unconditional love within yourself – all the love you need – and thus you don’t have requirements on the love of others. You then learn to love yourself and others unconditionally without expectations. It’s a beautiful and freeing way to live. And I’m still working on it. So when my friend shared this wisdom with me, it was a shock to my system to realize I had the focus for my book all along: learning to love unconditionally. That was the answer, that’s the conclusion. 

Nearly two weeks later, I found out Don Miguel Ruiz Jr., an author in his own right who is carrying on the Toltec wisdom writings his father began, was giving a workshop that very weekend an hour away from where I live. It was as if a huge sign was in front of my face proclaiming in blinking lights, “This is where you need to be.” I have found when God wants you to go somewhere, it’s really hard to ignore. But in this case, I didn’t need to be told twice. These books have made a huge difference in my life and I was enthusiastic to learn more.  The truths he spoke of were also ones I’ve really needed to hear lately and he spoke to precisely where I’ve been at. It was like water to my parched throat after months in the desert. I came away from that time with a lot of truths to think about and soak in along with new tools to use in living my life. I also came away with a much better handle on what my book is all about and where I want to take it at the end.
 
Every book needs a focus. Every book should be able to be summed up in a sentence or two. Find it, shape the book around it, and your writing will be far better for having a point. Unconditional love is my point.

The Questioning Author - Publishing a Book Series

Do all authors think the book they’re working on is crap at some point in the writing stage? I’m beginning to suspect most authors struggle with this at some point and I have recently been finding my place among them. Are these ideas worth following, worth exploring? Are these words worth writing down? And what’s more, how are these struggles of my own ever going to help someone else?

I look at the collection of poems I have thus far – 106 of them – and shake my head in disbelief. The lines laying across the pages are filled to overflowing with my heartache, with my longing for God, conversations we have, with the love I feel for the people around me which is so much bigger than myself that it leaves me staggering to my knees, and with unanswered questions and hungers still hanging out there with my arms open wide. How is this mess of myself ever going to be a mosaic of deeper truths?

I learned a couple of books ago that I am not the best judge of my own work. While I have my own personal favorites, those poems usually aren’t the ones that resonate most widely with other people. In fact, it’s usually the poems I just had to get off my chest, the ones I spilled out between tears and pink eraser bits, the words I howled to the wind as I stood on my soapbox crying out to the wilderness, people tell me they find incredibly meaningful. These are usually the same poems I come close to not including in a book as they are just too personal. Luckily for those who read my books, my editors play defense around the trash can, convincing me to keep those words in the collection. Though I well know by now they are right, every time I get to this stage of putting a book together, I am right back there trying to find a gem among those 106 poems and wondering if it even exists. My editors tell me, indeed, these words are absolutely worth publishing but I just don’t see it right now.

My lack of self-grandiosity, of not thinking my work is a gift to the world, is, I believe, needed for any author about to publish and is thus why I’m not too concerned about my own opinion but am trusting my editors instead. I’ve opened my heart and shared what’s in it. It get’s riskier every time I do it. But writing and sharing thusly is vital to the core of who I am so I keep coming back and laying it all out there hoping someone will come along, hear the words, and find something worth holding onto. Robert Hughes understood this when he said, “The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize.” If we were always confident about our writing, it wouldn’t be nearly as powerful. A true artist is always pushing themselves to be better at what they do, more creative and more daring. They question their work and it’s that push, that questioning journey that helps others ask questions of their own.

So I stand here with a question for myself: would I ever want to know the full effect my words have? And the answer quickly comes – I don’t – at least not in this expression of life. I love feedback as most any author does. It feels incredible to know the seeds I planted in the ground have born fruit of their own and it inspires me to keep going. But would I want to know the full effect of where all those seeds have traveled? I don’t think so. I want to continue questioning my work. I want to keep asking myself if it’s worth publishing. I want editors who will push back and tell me to do it anyway even when I want to hold back. I want to take the risk of vulnerability, of being real. If I wasn’t, if I hid away and never said what is bursting inside me to be said, I think I would explode. I have to say it. I have to share it. And if I have to get over myself to do it, then so be it. The words were never ultimately meant for me anyway.

A Place to Play - Publishing a Book Series

As writers, we usually don’t get to see into each other’s creative process. We see the final product or perhaps a semi-polished version read aloud in a writer’s group, but rarely do we get a peek at the raw material.

My rough drafts come out of my writing notebook. To make it, I decorated a composition book with a collage of pictures meaningful to me and covered it all with contact paper to protect it. There are pictures of the Eiffel Tower, Amsterdam, an elephant, and a forest covered in snow. They remind me of places I’ve been and things I’ve seen. There are also words pasted on: “Places to play,” “Let your voice be heard,” and “Forever Art” to inspire me.

Ever since I made it, it’s been the notebook I pick up whenever I want to write a new poem or when I long to explore an idea. The edges are now dog-eared and worn. The notebook has gone wherever I’ve traveled and is often in my workbag when I go about my day. Many of the poems from my third poetry book can be found here as well as many going into the fourth. Some of them are easy to read while others are covered with arrows, words crossed out, and writing on the side to the point only I can decipher the final lines. My editors, when looking at the notebook, commented on how my writing is shockingly small. There are bits of phrases scattered here and there in the margins – phrases I heard on the radio, read in a book, or thought of myself that I wanted to use as ideas for later. It’s my continual source of inspiration.

I love this notebook. I can pour into it my thoughts and feelings and only type out on my computer what is worth developing. As a writer, this notebook is where my heart is. It’s become like a highly valued friend and I know when I open it, I am completely free to be myself. I can experiment, try new ideas, and write about whatever themes I want.

This raw creativity is where a writer should start: a place where you are free to be yourself and express what is inside. Jack London once said: “Keep a notebook. Travel with it, eat with it, sleep with it. Slap into it every stray thought that flutters up into your brain. Cheap paper is less perishable than gray matter, and lead pencil markings endure longer than memory.”

For some reason, writing a poem in my notebook is easier than on a computer. I love refining a poem as I type it up in Word but the raw material always feels better to me written in pencil between my mosaic of pictures. Every writer has their own way of doing things. They find what works for them. Having a notebook in which to spill it all out as if to a friend is mine.

Lessons Learned from Printing My Books - Publishing a Book Series

As great an experience as publishing is, I learn a lot every time I go to print, lessons I put into practice with subsequent books. I thought these lessons would be for myself alone until a high school student approached me asking if I would mentor her for her senior project. She reminded me a bit of myself at that age except even brighter and more put together. So I took what I learned and shared those lessons with her. It was a gift to pass them on to such a gifted artist in her own right and her book came out beautifully. Here is some of what I told her in relation to the physical printing of books:

• Find  a good printer specializing in books. For my first and second printings of my first book, I used a local print shop that specialized in making copies. I did this because it’s what a fellow author did and I was so green behind the ears, I didn’t think to look at my options. This shop, not being very familiar with books, put the first page as the last page and though they gave me a discount for the mistake, I was quite disappointed. Not quite learning this lesson, I used a different print shop for the second title but wasn’t really satisfied with that resulting book either. Though it was an improvement with a color cover, I realized later they hadn’t told me about some of the other printing options – options I would have gone with had I known. By the time I was working on redesigning the first two books, I knew I needed something far better than what I’d found thus far. That is how I came across Gorham Printing and I’ve loved their company every since. They are small, family run, relatively local, and they have gone out of their way to help me out time and time again. I really appreciate the quality of their work, they know the business, and so I recommended them to the young woman I mentored. They have handled all my printing since. They key here is to shop around and find a company you like – not just the product but the people as well.

• Design a full color cover. My first cover was a cardstock cover with black ink. Though self-publishing was still very much on the sidelines at the time, I could have done a lot better than that. Again, I just didn’t question what else could be done. I made that change with the second book and couldn’t wait to go back and redesign a new cover for the first. I would now recommend having a cover professionally designed because I’ve seen so many unprofessional covers that just look awful. Though I now have some of the needed skills to design a cover myself, I hire a graphic designer as she comes up with ideas I would have never thought of that look fantastic.

• Always check the final proofs. I know first-hand how tired you are of looking at your book by the time it’s ready to go to the printer. You have to look at it again anyway with a detached eye. In my first book’s first printing, there were some lines of a poem missing because I only saw what I expected to see or I didn’t look closely enough. You have to check it again. You will regret it if you don’t. Doing this before the book was reprinted the second time, I caught the same printer’s mistake. Thinking I had made a mistake, they put that first page in the back of the book again. To this day, I do not know why they thought a title page should be in the back but I am sure glad I checked. Gorham has done this right every time.

• Leave room in your deadlines. I know it’s tempting to work down to the very last possible moment but I urge you not to do it. Gorham has been great when I’ve designed a book for someone who needs it back fast but, in general, leave lots of time. When I printed In His Eyes, the local print shop’s copier for the covers had broken down and they had already put off the job to the last moment. I was supposed to have a book release party either that night or the next day and I had no books. Being stubborn and determined, I drove the paper to another location of theirs forty-five minutes away, had them print the covers there, and drove them back to have everything bound. I still shake my head at this experience and will never repeat it. Now, when I’m getting a book ready to go to print, I call Gorham and ask them about their current lead time so I can add some extra time just in case.

• Always get printed proofs from the printer. Whether or not you have artwork in the book, this is a vital step. You will notice things you did not see before and if you have pictures in grayscale or color, this is especially important. The original proofs for my third poetry book were too dark and I was glad I saw those proofs before they were all printed. You also want to take a look at color to make sure you like how the ink turns out on the printed page.

• Always be gracious and polite with whomever you’re working. Yes, that first printer made a mistake but I still needed to be kind – yet firm. More people will want to help you when you’re nice to them. Once you find a printer you like, value the relationship. It will pay dividends down the road.

I haven’t yet made the printing decisions for this book. Those choices will be made later on after I figure out what this book needs. As the first three poetry books were a trilogy, I stayed with the same style and printing choices. This next one, though, stands on it’s own and so it can look different from the others. I’m excited to see what that look will be.

Check out the first two posts in this series:
Behind the Scenes
Delving into Publishing
These posts can be originally found at Stories to Tell.

Diving Into Publishing - Publishing a Book Series

You’ve been working on some writing and are considering the possibility of self-publishing down the road, but it looks like a large, unmanageable jungle. You’re not sure where to even start and thus ask a question I often hear, “How did you start publishing?”

This is a story that goes back to when I started writing in junior high school as a way to express the feelings I didn’t have the courage to say aloud. I wrote pages to God to share all the angst in my heart and poems about the world and those I loved within it. It was a way to get things out and to process my thoughts. These habits of journaling and writing poetry stayed with me through high school and on into college. When I was particularly proud of a poem I wrote, I would share it with those around me.

After graduation, friends told me they wanted to read more of my poetry so I collected it all and made three copies to circulate around. It was not enough and I was looking for a solution when I met another poet at the Salem, Oregon Art Fair’s Author Table. We hit it off and she extended an invitation to visit her and find out more about self-publishing. At her house, she told me about ISBN numbers, editing, illustrators, copyright, and obtaining a Library of Congress Number. She told me where she had her books printed and showed me more of her own work.

Being poor, I didn’t have much money to pay for such a project so I asked the people who wanted me to publish if they would be willing to buy the book before it was printed. They were. I added some of my own money, hired an artist friend for the illustrations, and recruited another friend who designed a church newsletter to help me layout the pages. We spent hours and hours in a small room figuring out all the little and not so little problems of laying out a book and when we were finally done, I took the files to a copy shop to have the books printed.

It was a fantastic feeling to hold a book in my hands that I wrote and I am still immensely proud of my much younger self for opening up her writing to the world and for having the courage and determination to see the project through at a remarkably young age. People liked the book and with the extra copies I sold, I had enough money to reprint a second edition. With the money earned from that printing, I printed the second book and so on. Each time I print a new book, whether it’s one I wrote or someone else’s work, I learn something new. I would, of course, make some different choices if I went back to do it again, but I would never tell myself not to publish the book. Even as amateurish as that first book looked, I would still give myself the go ahead for it has meant something to the people who read it – far more than I would have ever thought possible when I first wrote it.