Willamette Quarterly Meeting

As many of you know from reading my blog, I was invited to be one of the speakers on a panel at Willamette Quarterly Meeting, a part of North Pacific Yearly Meeting, October 3rd-5th. It's strange to have a dream for much of my life not knowing how I would reach it but holding to it stubbornly nonetheless then watching it come to fruition before me eyes. Though I have now spoken to many different gatherings, this has to be one of my favorites.

The event took place over a weekend out at the Kiwanas camp near Government Camp in the Mt. Hood wildnerness area. It rained the WHOLE time. But instead of seeing this as a negative, I loved it for each night, right outside the window by my bunk, was a tin roof and I fell asleep to the sound of raindrops echoing in my ears.

From the moment I got there to the moment I left, the people I met were warm and welcoming. And they were FUN!!! We played cards, stuck stickers on our name tags, had to get in birthday order without talking, and close our eyes and find our partner only shouting our pre-chosen words. Oh yes, and my favorite. We had to stand in a circle confessing our undying love to each other in an effort to get the other person to smile. "Honey, I LOVE you, but I just can't smile." As you may guess, I didn't do very well at keeping a straight face. That's okay though, I took advantage of the fact my fellow panelist, Kathy Hyzy, couldn't either.

Later in the morning after breakfast, we gathered in the main hall for the panel. I don't know about the others, but I had little preparation, I don't think they did either. This didn't worry me. Jane, our moderated for the four person panel, dressed in a rather comical copy of Sarah Palin, a likeness the audience was quick to realize, sat in the center asking questions. (No matter that woman's politcs, Sarah has a beautiful name.) Down the row she talked to each of us, asking us questions about our particular fields of expertise. Two of the panel conducted mission type work and the third, Kathy Hyzy, is the editor of Western Friend. (Also a friend of mine.) Then there was me. I got to cover the Editorial Board for the Quaker Youth Book Project, writing and publishing, blogging (both Kathy and I), Freedom Friends Church, and young adults in general. Feeling very comfortable with a microphone in my hands, I enjoyed the panel, both getting to hear the other panelists, speaking myself, and answering Jane's questions. I sure have come a long ways from wanting to crawl into a dark hole after speaking to now, when I thrive in doing it.

My favorite part though was after lunch. On the wall were four sign-up sheets for interest groups, one for each panelist. The idea was to pick the panelist you wanted to talk to and hear more from and then sit with them for an hour and a half. Having a larger group, we were assigned to the living area of Cy Hall, where I was rooming with other young women upstairs. People soon settled themselves in the chairs and couches around the room with me sitting on the hearth of the large stone fireplace. I started by having them go around the room introducing themselves and telling me what they wanted to hear more about. Among the wide array of answers were some general themes. They wanted to hear more about me, my experiences of writing and publishing, my views as a young adult, the book project, blogging, Freedom Friends Church including the music, and my opinion of the political effigy at George Fox University. Realizing a visual would come in very handy, I invited them to have a minute of open/silent worship while they looked at the Call for Submissions I'd handed out, while I dashed upstairs to get the four copies of my second book I had brought. While those were passed through the group, I started by telling a bit of my story and how I had started publishing in my early twenties. I then opened the floor to questions and as I answered them, I kept a mental list in my head to make sure we covered all the topics they wanted to hear about. The one that surprised me the most were the questions about what young adults were like, what is important to them, what is their culture like? Though those questions annoy a fellow young adult who was there, I don't mind them at all, I am glad older adults are interested in hearing from the younger Friends. I think the Quaker world is hungry for it, a realization that makes me realize how much this book the editorial bord is overseeing can impact the Quaker world. In one volume, people will be able to hear a whole range of views and experiences, not just my own, but the views of those from around the world. One of the things that pleased me most was getting to speak on what I'm passionate about and having them want to listen. Throughout that hour and a half, we had a fantastc dialogue between us and around us. At the end, they asked me if I would read a few selections from my book. It was one of the moments when I just knew, this is what I was born to do. Thank you to everyone who was there, at the panel and the group who listened, asked questions and enthusiastically walked in dialogue with me. It was an experience I will never forget and always treasure.

The afternoon was also fun as I had one-on-one conversations with people and heard amazing personal stories in small groups and at dinner. You never know what a person has experienced in their lives by talking to them. The more I live, the more I learn EVERYONE has a story and some stories will keep you on the edge of your seat.

It seems talent shows are "a thing" in North Pacific Yearly Meeting. I was roped, though I was gladly and enthusiastically said yes, into taking part in a skit about "A Thousand Cranes". The actress and actor I played with were amazing and hillariously funny and they also got me into my tap shoes to perform the piece our troupe has been rehearsing. After the show, a lot of people gathered around the great fireplace to sing. There, my stereotype of the meeting was blown to bits after they sang many songs with Jesus in it. Apparently, there isn't as much division as I thought between the two yearly meetings. Both groups have a wide variety of theolgical viewpoints and many in the unprogrammed churches like to sing once in a while and many in the programmed ones, like to experiene greater lengths of silence. I am glad of this. There are less division lines when that happens and when people can keep talking to each other, enjoying our differences instead of letting them seperate us.

Another highlight for me was getting to hear Leaf read my poetry. Originally, a woman who bought one of the books wanted to hear some of my favorites. Gradually, we were joined by others who were interested in hearing more of my work and it tuned into such a gift for me. Leaf, a young man from Portland, wanted to try reading one and when he did, I couldn't help but grin as I'd never heard my poetry read like that before. I wrote the poems, I knew what was in them, but I was a spellbound listener along with the rest. He is an extrememly good reader and enjoying hearing it from him so much, we started handing the book back and forth between us reading different selections. I told him I was going to have to start bringing him around to different readings and book signings. I think I would sell more books.

At business meeting Sunday morning, the clerk read aloud my traveling minute from my home meeting of Freedom Friends Church and left it on a table for people to sign. One woman who has visited the church, gave an impassioned speech to the whole meeting urging them to go and see it for themselves. One man in particular commented on how he'd had an idea of what the church was like and now has come away with quite a different view after hearing me talk. Freedom Friends Church came up a lot. The church is a small and eclectic but growing gathering of introverted folk, most of them new to Quakerism. I believe I am the only extrovert in the church and one of a minority with a background in Quakerism before joining the meeting. Because of this, because I am very comfortable, perhaps even more so, with the larger Quaker world and am one of very few who regularly venture into it, I'm quickly becoming the public ambassador, other than Peggy and Alivia of course, representing our meeting to other Quakers. I honestly don't quite know what God was doing to them to place such an extrovert smack dab in the middle of their silence. Sometimes, I feel a little sorry for them having to work with it.

But even our church can be bubbly compared to how much silence there can be in the Quaker world. When I read of this in seminary, I was being mentored by those in the "other yearly meeting" and long periods of open worship to me was as foriegn as hearing a language I didn't really understand. I had to read about it, but I had never experienced it. Though, I'll tell you, when we had to have an experiential piece to our presentation for History of Spirituality, our Quaker group, (I wasn't Quaker yet), thought we got off easy as all we had to do was tell the class to sit quietly and listen. How easy is that? HAH! You have obviously never been an extrovert with lots of get up and go having to sit still and be quiet. That's tough.

So, after lunch, the clerk came by the table I was sitting at to return my traveling minute. The sheet of paper I saw first had four signatures and I was honestly, a little dissapointed. She had laid the paper out late that morning and had requested people sign it several times. I was surprised so few had. But then, I turned the paper around in my hands and was stunned to see the other side COVERED in people's notes of encouragment. That was a humbling moment for me. For someone still at the beginning of her ministry who has not always been so encouraged, this meant the world to me. Some of the notes included:

-"Sarah is a delightful and energetic young woman who brings joy and enthusiasm to her ministry. We have been grateful for her presence this weekend."

-"It has been a boon and a boast to have Sarah with us. Her panel presentaiton was inspiring."

-"A wonderful ambassador and example of what Friends can be when we let our light shine!"

Can you see what I mean by humbling? (See "Self-Confidence Through Transformation: My Story", a previous post for more.) Life is truly like planting a seed. You can plant one little seed and get back a harvest of a hundred fold. I was honored to be with you all and I enjoyed you all SO MUCH. Playing, getting to hear your stories, talking with you, just being together was a gift. Thank you.

Before I left, an older gentleman gave me a compliment and told me what a nice job I had done. Then he looked at me and said, "But don't go getting a big head about it." I smiled and told him not to worry, I would be returning to my local meeting soon and that would take care of that.

All in all, this was a fantastic time for me. I got to hone my skills as a speaker and writer, as a spokesperson for the book project, and I got to continue building friendships with the people of North Pacific Yearly Meeting. The woman who gave me a second perspective on my ministry told me I was unapologetically authentic. I hope to always be so.

(By the way, all those posters behind the panel? They all say at what age people were at when they started their public ministry, it spanned from about age 16 to 35. To say this was encouraging to me would be a vast understatement.)

Quaker Worlds: Mind, Hands, and Heart

As I've already posted, the day after I attended North Pacific Yearly Meeting, I attended North West Yearly Meeting and these experiences got me thinking about all the times I've spent with other Quakers and what that has been like for me.

North West Yearly Meeting was an entirely different experience from the previous day. For one, NWYM is my Quaker home. It's where I was educated, where I grew to love the best in Quakerism, and within it are the flavors that drew me toward it. NWYM is also filled with many of my friends and mentors so I could never get very far the whole night without seeing and talking with someone I love. There was lots of hugging. It felt good to be back where I am comfortable and feel like myself.

You see, my Quaker life is very disjointed. I am a part of three Quaker groups and though they are side by side in some respects, I have never seen them interconnect. It's rather odd, but so it is. Relationships in one are completely different from relationships in another and so I live between three worlds. Each one offers me a gift. By themselves, they are not enough, but together, they have helped me grow in ways I could not have foreseen. Through one, I was born and raised into Quakerism, I have been stretched by another, and put to meaningful work by a third. I have come to call these worlds "Mind, Hands, and Heart".

In one place is the church I attend. It is the mind piece, my "growing edge" and though I love it, I haven't known them for that long - just shy of a year. We are a very diverse group and usually focus on ministry and life-style. I do like it because those are areas where I'm growing and need that space to learn and try my hand at doing things within the church. We don't discuss spirituality or the heart much, though, things I love to talk about. The gift in that, is that I am free to explore God in whatever way I want, personal faith is not asked about in the way I'm used to and there is no one there to tell me differently. (Not that I would heed them if I disagreed anyway.) This may be strange sounding to some of you, I'm still getting used to this style of church myself. The church as a whole is focussed more on the visible outgrowth of faith. It engages my mind. The church is like North Pacific Yearly Meeting in that respect. When I need to talk about spirituality, I just go to my mentors. Still, coming from where I have, a church that doesn't talk much about our relationship with God can get lonely.

My second Quaker life is with the Quaker Youth Book Project and Quakers United in Publishing. This is my forte', my hand piece, this is what I love doing in the Quaker world. It combines art, spirituality, writing, creativity, ecumenicalism, and a bit of travel, many of my favorite things rolled into one beautiful project. It has been so much fun and an honor to be a part of. I feel like I have brothers and sisters all over the world in my fellow board members and I cherish them and what we're creating. I love having something I am passionate about to promote and to discuss with others who are also excited about what we're doing. However, as much as I am enjoying it, I also need faces nearby, a community around me.

My third and biggest Quaker life is in the North West Yearly Meeting, my heart piece. Everything and everyone that brought me to Quakerism are there. I spent the whole evening last night running into one person after another and with several I am acquainted with but don't know well, I had to ask to be reminded where I knew them. George Fox? Reedwood Church? Silverton Friends Church? Rivers Way? Women's Theology Conference? (My small group is also NWYM.) Out of context, you know... But I had a ball! I could hear "the song of Quakerism" I first learned to sing sung throughout the evening and I cherished hearing it again after so much time of hearing other music. Some of the people there have known me for many years, others, even since I was a child. I feel grounded and accepted exactly as I am when I am with them. They know my story, who I have been and the journey I have taken to who I am now. In fact, many of them have had a good influence on the person I am and what I'm intrigued with. It feels like coming home for Christmas when I'm around them. And though the evangelicalism can sometimes aggravate me, I've known it since I was small in the Nazarene denomination and it can be comfortingly familiar even as I want to protest some finer theological points. It's not something I would want to be immersed in all the time, I need the space my church gives me, but like being wrapped in a beloved blanket for a while, it feels very safe and warm.

I am sure others share in my experience of having different faith groups so close together that may even be interrelated but still separate. Personally, I would like to see them a little more integrated as it can be tiring to go between three. Still, I wouldn't give any one of them up, I need each: mind, hands, and heart. It will be interesting to see how they play out in time to come.

North West Yearly Meeting

The next afternoon, I geared up for round two. North West Yearly Meeting, the other for our area, was just starting their Yearly Meeting at George Fox University in Newburg, the Evangelical Quaker Meca. I thought it would be interesting going to the meetings back to back for comparison's sake. I had arranged to attend the Young Adult Barbeque in the evening, 30-40 Quaker young adults in one spot, I couldn't pass that up. What a fantasic chance to let people know about our project! I was also thrilled to see my friend Krissi from seminary. We met when we shared a room at the retreat where I had decided to become a Quaker. It was nice to see a friendly face and to catch up with each other over dinner.

Finding my way around George Fox, like OSU, was not a problem as I earned my Master's at their Portland campus, and had visited the main campus a handful of times. Most of their meetings took place in Bauman Auditorium so display in hand, I found the spot reserved for me on a table near the end of the hall. A friendly looking woman stopped to talk with me about the project and as soon as she found out I was from Freedom Friends Church, she started laughing. Not giggling, but out right, head thrown back laughing. Puzzlement roamed my face as I tried to figure out what I had just said that was so funny. Seeing my question, she slowly recovered and explained to me she had been "out" for several years and that attending yearly meeting was difficult for her as they were not accepting of that. She had visited us before, even knew Alivia, and liked the church. Finding out we were both artists and spiritual directors, we got along well and she invited me to sit with her for the evening worship and talk.

After sitting beside her, I busied myself looking around the auditorium and felt very much at home. Unlike the other yearly meeting, this group are Christians and there was a candle in the front with some quote about the kingdom. It reminded me a bit of the church I grew up in and perhaps for that reason, I felt more open to entering into the experience. We sang great old hymns I have loved since childhood, words that resound deeply in my heart. I also knew a row of friends from a church I enjoy attending in Portland were sitting a few rows back which included one of my closest friends from seminary.

I managed to get through the talk without getting horribly wriggly. (My attention span is not wonderful and I noticed others around me also shared this affliction after two hours.) And at that point, it could have ended as an interesting night. But North West Yearly Meeting is the meeting through which I became a Quaker, it's my Quaker home, and so I know a TON of people who were there. For the rest of the night, I could never get very far without seeing another friend. I got to talk about the project with many who were interested in what we were creating and I got to hand out a lot of writing submission guidelines. Seeing all my friends was the best part though and I am really glad I went. On Wednesday, I will be attending all day so am sure I will be writing about this Yearly Meeting again.