Pressure Cooker

I feel like a pressure cooker that's temperature was just turned up another couple of notches. The power plug in my laptop is loose which means expense and time when I can afford neither. It may not sound like a big deal but with the way laptops are built, apparently it is. It also means my laptop is the in the critically ill unit while I am lying in the bed next to it, unable to really help when I desperately need it to work. I try not to think about everything going on too much because even with this much, I'm in tears. My life has taken on a "You've got to be kidding me" kind of tone. I don't know what to do. It's one of those times when I need someone with a level head and financial savvy to sit down with me and discuss my options. I'm getting close to a complete break down because frankly, I can't go on much longer this way and I no longer have the energy to hide it. Something has got to break. (And I didn't mean my laptop.) Some how, some of the pressure has got to be let out but I don't yet see how.

On a different note, opening night is this evening at the theatre. There is a catered party afterwards which I am looking forward to. I'm also really looking forward to seeing the program as some of my pictures are published in it. I love being there around the people while we tell a great story. Joe and I have decided we are going to play Phase 10, a card game, during Act 1 to keep ourselves entertained. Life is certainly testing my talent as an actress having to be happy and sensual while dealing with all of this but what I portray on the stage is as real as anything else going on. Though I am not the only one in the cast dealing with many of the issues Willy deals with in the play so the story is that much more real for us as a cast. In that, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

365-09 #23