I Remember

On our drive out into the country tonight, my friend and I took one of my favorite roads. I love it not because it's beautiful, though it is, but because of the spirit and aura it holds for me. My spiritual director I had for many years lives on that road and on the occasions I drive on it, I am aware of that deeper real that goes past simple sight and hearing. I believe places can hold things we cannot see and this place holds that for me. Driving along part of the road, I feel I am leaving the shallow world behind me and entering a deeper world I always felt welcomed into. Then, on another part of the road, I feel more myself than I feel anywhere else. After our times together, I usually took a drive through the country to think about things we had talked about, verbally or not, and let myself sit with the depths we had explored. On that part of the road, I felt like my soul had just been cleansed. It wasn't always a light feeling, sometimes it was really hard, but usually, I felt more accepted and at peace with myself and who I was and utterly loved than anywhere or at anytime else. It was as if I felt lost and then someone walked with me for a time and said, "You are not lost. You are exactly where you belong. You are in the precise and right place and time you are meant to be in." When I was afraid I'd crossed a line, I was told there aren't any lines. When I was afraid I'd gone too far, I was told to keep going. When I thought I was in trouble, I was told I am free. Her voice and these truths are with me wherever I go. They are a gift of value beyond naming. But when I drive that road, I sink into them and I remember.

365-09 #176