Someone once told me that sometimes, our relationship with God is like the transformation scene in Beauty and the Beast. Belle falls in love with the beast and then when he's transformed, Belle sees him in a whole new way. Though with God, it's not as easy as that. When we have one image of God, it's a whole new part of the journey to recognize him when he looks quite different.
I was going through a time like this when one of my seminary professors gave a presentation to our Old Testament class with pictures of the universe. He started with a picture of our local area and said, "And this is just a part of this" while showing us a picture of our state, then the country, then the hemisphere, then the globe, our solar system, the Milky Way, and on and on it went in the same manner blowing our minds with how big everything really is and how small we really are. I walked out of that class dizzy with the idea of just how BIG God is. I felt very insignificant before Him. I have never really gotten over it. Before that day, God was much safer, much smaller. He was someone I could sit with, easily approach without trembling, I felt very close to His heart. Now there is a bit of trepidation there. A bit of fear in approaching Him. Does this huge-beyond-imagination God really accept me just as I am with all the times I stumble and fall to my knees? Does He really love me, all of me?
It is at these times he passionately answers, "I'm still here." He may look different to me but I know it's still Him standing there. It's still the same hand guiding mine. My fear may have taken hold for a while, but I know there is a greater love that overcomes my fear. This I hold to. As my faith changes as I grow and learn, as it widens along with my larger perspective, I hold to the truth that whatever God looks like to me, we have a beautifully close and personal relationship- this will never change. I am so glad God and I have experienced enough transformations in our eternal time together, that I know He is there and even when I can't hold on, I know He is holding on to me.
365-09 #34
Labels: 365-09 Challenge, Images of God
