Turning into the Future

What? Did everyone blog tonight? I have a dashboard full of blog updates of friends I want to read! Usually, there's a whole lot of nuttin'. While you were all writing, I went with a friend to see a movie and then we took a drive in the country because we needed to get out of town and walked around Independence. It was a nice time to loose myself in my thoughts and wander across the still water. It's strange, I have childhood memories from that town. We used to join my mom's cousin's family for July 4th every year. They lived in the country and my sisters, cousins and I would run around the property, climbing the tree house, riding the four wheeler, shooting bb guns, finding the nettles (yuck!), playing Nintendo, and hide and go seek. We would have a barbecue potluck there and then drive into Independence to go see the fireworks. The funny thing is, I remember then and I've spent time there since, but I can't put the two together. I can't look at a window and remember going into the store but I remember going into a store. Isn't that how it is though? The past we remember is clearer in our memories than it is in the world around us.

I've been learning a lot about letting go of the past and looking into the future. My sister, Megan, and I talked about holding onto things because of emotional attachment. I have a lot less of that than I used to. Bit by bit, I'm going through things. Earlier today I was looking at the bulletin board above my desk and looked at what has become a collage of various photos, ticket stubs, and various other items. I like keeping things to remind me of where I've been, to remind me that I've done something with my life. But is it not more important to think about where I'm going? If I keep looking back and holding onto what I've done, I suspect I will be missing out on all kinds of things I could be doing now or reaching for in the future. As hard as it is, every time I let something go from the past, the easier it is to look into the future. I'm understanding this more and more as time goes by. MaryKate told it to me quite some time ago, that truth was planted in me then, I've always remembered it, and I am beginning to really understand what she meant by it now.

Usually, I delete the really blurring photos I take for the theatre but I really like the artistry of this one.



365-09 #175